Scurvy Dogs

_________________________________

THE PIRATES WHO DO NOTHING

I eb and flow
I'm to and fro.
I make stops here and there
But exact positions are unknown.
Northern wind absent
Or perhaps I sit teary eye'd
Staring into irons
Waiting for a change in the wind
To move me.
Mental image dawns:
A bloodied rutter arm
Scares me back
To the crow's nest.
_________________________________

My mom wouldn't let me rent it.

_________________________________

THAT SHIT WAS TOO HARD

Dr. Duodenum moans,
"Jim you bastard!
Do the job you were meant for!"
E.J. paces
And walks away,
Tired of snotty heroism
And misunderstood hi jinx.
A tired clown goes home
Back to being
Tired Jim.
_________________________________

Back and again.

___________________________________________

TRAITOROUS

Inside me
Is a bottle
Of her majesty.
A portable bastion of righteousness.
A star in my heart
Not unlike,
"The one who lives at the top of the stair's" trespasser.
Temple of doom
Ritual commences.
Nothing is found,
No heart,
No star.
They are deeper yet,
Un-reachable.
Sunken to my feet.
My heart.
My star.
____________________________________________

I just wanna leave it.

____________________________________

JITTERS

Uninspired measurements pile up
With no end in sight.
My lemming belief system
Brought me here.
Experience has taught me
And I am too good a student.
Leaving life for others
While failure and chance hang around
My neck.
Unrealized key,
That which cannot be lost
Still cannot shake me from my slumber.
____________________________________

This isn't about Jessica Biel or was she in that other movie about magicians?

___________________________________________

THE PRESTIGE

My love for you is stronger than any magic.
Moving constellations in my universe.
Sharing starry nights,
Cities apart.
Every morning a sunset delivered,
Coffee made and breakfast consumed.
What's a few hours difference?
They are still our moments,
But only when we want them.
Tenderness brought to light
Proving ownership.
We are.
We are what happens when love appears.
__________________________________________

What is it good for?

_________________________________________

REGULATED

Love is plague
And miracle;
Murderous rage maker
And beautiful life maker.
The O.G.
The first "Great One".
Manwe's older brother, left from the texts,
Named "Catch 22".
An opportunity
And a congruous compromise.
Give and take.
Forget math,
Lest you live in a zero sum
Game.
_________________________________________

School is like this.

______________________________________________

DO I WANNA GO BACK?

My shoes are too tight
And my shirt is bunching.
My pockets are full of change
And candy wrappers;
An Amalgam
Of the nearly useless
Experiences today.
Thirst dawns
And useless becomes "Soda pop" primer
Slowly converting to a pocket full
Of stress experiences.
Fingers struggle to understand
"Feelings"
And intuition goes blind.
Today was a resume' builder,
I hope I get the job.
______________________________________________

Oops butterfingers

___________________________________

E.S.P.

Figuring nothing
But plans to remove
My sweat and blood
Now consciously converted
As pulp and cotton.
Leading off with failure
To deliver
Less fallacy.
I trusted for truth.
Left with pavement spanning
Roads forced by worthless trust
Paved without need or knowledge
Left with none
To trust?
___________________________________

Tempest-er

_______________________________________

KARLTRINA

This prose is feverish.
Heart in throat,
Pressure pushing,
Keeping me from my bono vox.
So I stop,
Like a break in the storm.
Yellow skies afire
And that slight pressure
That the universe uses
To tell you there's more.
Back in a flash!
Pent rage and fear fly by finger flick.
Confusion falling,
A misrepresentation
Due to these harsh environs.
So storm dies
But quietly rages on
Secretly assuring bright twilight
And stony slumber.
______________________________________

Don't worry bout' em

____________________________________________________

THEY'RE NIHILISTS JOHNNY

I'll pass along these words,
These carefully planned out words.
Shaped and molded
To resemble instrument of inquisition;
Forced like embalming loop
To mash and remove your brains.
"Implant my ideas
As they are clearly more reasonable,
Logical and clear."
Every body greeted
By this cold assumption of succor;
Belief in an unsung philanthropy
Is truly divisive,
Splitting you and I
As I fall prey time and again
To caste ruling
Of my own branding.
____________________________________________________

Sinister Fineous Darkvire

___________________________________________

THE ARCHITECT IS MOST DANGEROUS

What seems a pointless pain
Points out my chronic condition.
My daily is against bone and sinew.
Edging, to win freedom
From my disguised eye's
natural coping game.
Fault is often pressed
Like a hot iron to polyester,
Quickly ruining more than
What was at stake
?
__________________________________________

Daylight stays

_________________________________________

HOT PAVEMENT UNDER FOOT

Boys run summer streets
Unaware of life spilling
Like an out of control drunk.
Abundance of feast
Run as hard as you can boy.
This moment you are alive
Don't you forget it!
Resignation's origin lies
In dank, dark insides
Leaving sun and air
To the blind
Of beauty taken granted.
Go live
Now.
________________________________________

A to B

_____________________________________________

HERMIONE TECH CHEATS

Your timing is terrible
And your choice of words...
Even worse.
You think you know?
Just cause' you've been there, done that?
Bull.
There are and will always be parts of me
You don't know about.
Parts that lie outside of even my influence,
Parts that neither allow or disallow
Anything
In general
Stretching to relate to what is known.
_____________________________________________

Bull Headed

Internet went down last night.
_______________________________________________________

CAULIFLOWER EAR

No.
Stop.
You gotta wait
For others to speak along with you.
I'll keep refusing you,
So you better learn.
The closest thing I have to you
I that Hayes girl,
Frightened right out of what I wanted in the first place.
Caught between what it means
And what it means I have to do.
_______________________________________________________

Hope it makes sense

____________________________________

BOOM BOOM OW

Clucky, clucky
Peck, peck, peck
I eat all the birdseed
Fallen round off the deck.
Second hand scraps
Taste delicious to me,
But I've promoted second hand abuse
I was first on the scene.
_____________________________________

Temperence

______________________________________

THE LAWSON EFFECT

Take what comes
To get whatcha' got.
Days like today
I don't feel so hot.
Cause when I think too much
I realize what's not
Easy for me
So I scheme
And I plot.
For days and days
I rack my brain waves
Until epiphany's shadow
Comes round here and says,
"True,
It's not what you do
That troubles you through.
It's how your moods moves
And make you behave."
_____________________________________

Speak to the trees

________________________________________________

FIRE FALL

Insurmountable pain,
Seems a relentless demon
Summoned from my ninth.
Arachnid eyes in cluster
Miss no movement of mine,
Preventing escape and engagement.
And so I greet my awkward relative
With averting gaze and submission,
For fear of inbred retaliation.
I, like the ranger,
Hold the undead lives of thousands in hand
As I am a son
Of the nobles.
I alone command by the sword.
I shall have my day of victory,
When demon and summoner will submit to me
And bid me their will;
And I ascend tiers
To the second son of Nimloth
And his lonesome court
To grow strong
Like his hidden son.
Side by side to rule
In white.
_______________________________________________

One is silver and the others gold.

______________________________________

INCOMPATIBLE

You probably should go,
I mean you haven't done anything wrong,
But I think it'd be best if you left.
Yeah, you do make me happy.
I know, I know I'm "O.K."
It's just that
There is more for me
Than this;
More for me than you.
I am a shaper
And although consuming is required
Shaping is more so.
So please,
I think it'd be best
If you left.
_____________________________________

BLAH BLAH With a side of BLAH

________________________________________

CAUGHT ME WITH MY EYES DOWN

Surprise!
I'm here.
Now.
You look
Different.
What does this mean?
Double rainbow?
Almost full circle?
Currently present
Enough
To document
And share.
_________________________________________

Give it a rest.

______________________________________________________

EXCUSES TO DIE

Anxiety is a living nightmare.
My ever present companion,
Always quick to reassure me
That I'm doing more than not enough.
So I sun tan in my guilt rays
And bask in the steam
Of my doused inadequacy stones,
Embracing full on the choking sensation
Of this sweat lodge named panic.
I really paid to do this?
Worry is my pre-req
For grad courses in "Doing Nothing
With My Life",
Did I mention my dissertation is on
"Personal Paralyzation due to incorrect self-indulgence"?
I bet my parents would still be upset
If I dropped out.
______________________________________________________

Fried Chicken

__________________________________________

GIANT WINGS

This decision must be forced on me,
I lose contact with reality:
The truth,
The scope of things.
Weekends evaporate
And nights seem to vanish.
Life becomes mac and cheese,
Delicious....
Then guilt and gut ache arise
Like some mechanism of a terrible sense
Of self correction.
And I feel bound to reply
Akin to brother ostrich.
__________________________________________

Sleepenstein

__________________________________________________________

BEER AND MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER

Short and sour,
I think it's still good.
Like "La Roja".
I'd rather it
Than typical tympanum tearing bitches,
Including "this moi".
This boy ain't all roses and happy thoughts,
I've got an axis of evil,
An alignment of "other men"
Inside my body,
Acting out their own agendas.
Sadly, I am expected
To roll like Franklin pocket trans,
But I think an unfiltered taste
Would refresh me.
__________________________________________________________

Would have made for a bad book.

__________________________________________

WHAT IF THOMAS HAD FAILED?

Simplicity just sings to me,
"Do what your heart desires.
Hurry now,
Forget when and how.
For soon life will expire.
I am the son of fear and speed,
I've hastened here to meet your need
For in your eyes half life does creep
Oh so creepily.
Put down you weapons,
Hoe and rake.
Sit down, eat up, take a break.
For soon the sun with beat and bake
The hope from within thee.
There is a part deep down inside
Where fingers shant reach
And where deeds go to die,
There hides a small and shaking child
resting wearily.
Lead him out, treat him right
But never will the sun burn bright
To light hallowed halls beneath.
For as bad as it was, it was still a home.
Albeit, one with no heart or hearth made of stone,
Or soup, or bread, or things to own,
But home was still,
Home.
So soon those eyes will darken and harken
To life lived long past and attempts to part them
But it lives long inside our hearts
Against strong will to thwart them.
When we remember our homes
Our start.
____________________________________________

Carpe Exercism

________________________________________

A NICE YOG

I'm afraid
I'll lose you.
My absence
Is a direct decision
To abstain.
Intentional.
Scared
Of the consequences.
Scared
Of tomorrow.
Are you even there?
Were you ever actually here?
Will you stay and wait
For a return
Of this tired man
Wishing for a break?
My life, the casino.
I just can't seem to bet
More than the table minimum.
_______________________________________

Smashed

______________________________________

P.L. DUBBED IT

Fan of the hit and run
Narration.
A sort of morbid
"Choose your own adventure"
Storybook,
Complete
With its very own tool of disposal.
Self destruction
Leaving reader blurry eyed
And deaf
To true letters
Communing to sing
A truthful voice.
Shell shocked and timid,
Hiding amidst the wreckage.
All sounds
Of the siren's song.
______________________________________

It's wedding season.

____________________________________________________________________


IF I ONLY


If I only had one last kiss

It would be yours, it would be yours

There's a million ways I planned it

We never seemed to settle down for one

Convictions so strong, more than love songs

Issie Singer told me I found the one

If I only had one last kiss

It would be yours, it would be yours

There's a million ways they've said it

I can't seem to fit you into one

Soft light breaking, eastern facing

Bill, he said it that you shine like the sun

It's just you, just you

If I only had one last kiss

It would be yours, it would be yours

It's just you, just you, adding more words won't make it more true.

____________________________________________________________

C'mon fight me!

________________________________

PLAGUE WING

We're like Thaddius' polarized pets.
We share space
And people die.
Mental containment
Is our thin shield
Keeping our wars from indulging
In manslaughter.
Mass murders
Due to proximity.
The real problem is this iron curtain
Visiting death upon me
Bit by bit from sunrise to sunset,
Like a vacant soul sapping ghoul.
Catch twenty two,
Remove the veil
And I'm a dead man.
________________________________

It's in the background as we speak.

___________________________________

LIFE DOUBLE

The hours are countless.
Resting?
Relaxing?
Wasting?
We're not really friends.
This is hard to craft
Due to the overwhelming shame
Associated with time being wasted?
SP?
Irresponsibility has broadened
Its definition
And I, a border dweller,
Have been swallowed up
Finding new home in this Sarlac brother.
When will I resign to understanding?
I guess when I resign in general.
___________________________________

Fuck all y'all

____________________________________________

OLD LIFE

I spent those extra formative years
Filing away.
Placing self into bottle
Ignoring summons
By brainwashing
To oblivion.
My questions just got too big,
As my love professes,
And that is most accurate.
Especially considering
The too short leashed lives
That cauldron cooks.
Control: a hooded acolyte.
Justifying deed through "educational" avenues,
But you don't all fool me.
Most of you were a complete waste,
A complete fucking waste,
Of my time.
That is all.
____________________________________________

Response to Anonymous

Your post made me think a bit more after I initially responded and i feel the need to express thusly, ______________________________________


UNTITLED Time revolves around my head Endlessly careening Seemingly without control Or direction. Time stamped embarrassment Strikes when the big hand disapproves. Today I don't even control the minutes They stand Still Waiting for me to decide On anything. And I don't As calling card memories Leaving Morgul wounds Unhealing scars Kept open by a willingness inside Me to kite these demons To allow chase The hope of being great Great enough to never have to admit the truth About myself And my calling cards. Rest. ___________________________________________________

Shang-ri-la

Thanks to whoever posted on my last couple of entries..... Sometimes this project gets lonely, feels like my wife and I are the only readers......haha.  So thanks for interacting I think it's great and thanks doubly for posting an awesome response.  So whoever you are, "You rock."
____________________________

RAIN BABIES

Typhoon brother
Sweeps the landscape
Clean
And makes room
For entropy's progeny.
My estimated sixty
Plus or minus
Is an ill prepared test taker
In consideration of
This millennia old storm.
Eyes alert to coming wind.
Head inside,
Change is a'comin'
___________________________

Screaming infant

______________________________________

ROUTINE HAZING

Night terrors
Typical of this routine,
The feeling of having nothing
To offer
Strikes the nerve
Like dentist's exploration
Of clearly defined cavity
"Just to confirm",
Inflicting a bleeding reminder
A receiving of your own sad calling card,
One you hadn't realized
Went to print.
______________________________________

Self Absorbed

_________________________________

ROOMATES

I got a problem
With having a problem
With you being me.
Never ideal, couldn't fit the mold,
Just couldn't go
With the one who came before.
I stand for those
You obviously have forgotten,
Those you ignore and bring shame to.
We are those
Who hold no right
To you
Or anything about you.
We are the made up story
Of a boy
Named victim.
We are a figment
Of your imagination,
Well maybe you've just made it
Sound worse than it really is.
Look around yourself,
You'll do anything
To not know
If we're right
Or wrong.
__________________________________

Adventureland

____________________________________

FINE DINING

Dining table duel
I eat, I drink
With this ego, this very fragile ego.
Eyes locked and watery
Stretched to effectively communicate
The importance
Of the sensitive playmaker.
Iron curtain scowl
Hidden behind social prowess
And the know-how
To escape any question
So Houdini drags it out.
Like cancer
That never completely overtakes,
Suffocates,
A dominant force,
An unavoidable presence.
Still,
This is where the treasure lies,
Within this belfry.
An excursion
Of obnoxious proportions.
____________________________________

Mutanus The Devourer

_______________________________________

THAT'LL DO

Boredom dons its jester's crown
And pixies play
At pixie games.
Filled is a mind a gape
With confusing euphoria.
This leave of concrete leads me
To build a home
Of gingerbread
By this gilded highway.
Looks like a nice place
To watch life
Slip away.
________________________________________

Harumph

_____________________________________

CYANED

My destiny is unclear
A deserter it seems at times
A mutinous crew
And I "Captain Planningham"
"Destiny" may not exist
Unless you believe
You are destined for greatness
In which case you will more than likely be
Destined to feel abused
And lied to about your importance.
_____________________________________

Ordinarily difficult

__________________________________

GEMINI

It's been too long,
I've been too silent.
I give you your genius
And you shove me in return,
Forced into hiding
By the story I wrote for you;
A story with another purpose.
I'm no silent partner,
Today is the wholesale buyout,
So fuck your fear of me.
Relax into this,
The reality of you.
Your plans were fodder
Now risen
To fuel my flame.
__________________________________

Video tape

_________________________________

THE DEAF LISTEN BETTER

You are like the deaf,
Just not really.
Actually, a deaf person
Would put more effort
Into listening;
If that makes any sense.
Macroscopic, microscopic, telescopic.
Whatever.
You've got them all covered.
You're here , but you're not here.
Mouth miming movements
Arms flagging down expressions
Agreements made and plans slated
But erased by some invisible magnet.
I guess you stood too close.
_________________________________

Confusion Ensues

_________________________________

DOUBLE GAH

I'm Wasted,
Wasting, Waster,
Wastoid.
Out of the luck
That was borrowed
And into the shit
That got me here to begin with.
Walk backwards.
Slow.
Don't engage with your eyes.
It will eat you up.
You know exactly what it wants,
Side profile slide
And GTFO
________________________________

Still don't know me.

___________________________________

OUT OF INK

I won't pen your ignorance,
As it should be left
From my books.
A history without comment
Or strange, imposed sanction
On my body
Of work.
Satiety won't find you
As I will never be you
And you will never satisfy
Yourself.
This poem is a contradiction.
___________________________________

Heard it all before.

______________________________________

YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME

It's just the same,
Different than before
But still running
That line.
Onlooker's gasp,
Frightened by what is left
Unfelt and untouched
Their desire is only
To achieve what is not burdensome.
Hide and seek love style,
Out of short sightedness
Leaves garden gate
Swinging, hinged
Out of control.
So this handsfree attempt will go on
And crash land
Leaving me badly
And you relieved.
______________________________________

Sullen Eyes

_____________________________________

THE MOLE PEOPLE

I'm O.K. with it
But unsure
About the others.
The little noisies,
Ones who worry
On and on
In their rabbit holes
Never alive
Just trying to convince others
To forfeit
Due to their own fright
And state.
It's because they worry
About themselves too
You know?
Consistent.
______________________________________

Montana Soon?

_________________________________

DENTAL FLOSS TYCOON

This is new
Life.
I will love
What is
To come
And who
Is to march.
I will stand
Beside battered boy
Long shamed
Left too shy
From personal redemption.
I will raise
Banner beyond bounty
And seek respect
And honor.
This I will achieve
With lurve.
_________________________________

Flit Flat

_______________________________________

A LITTLE BATTY

There is an unspoken fear
Gliding on wings
Like Fledermaus
Flittering about your head.
Eyes dart
Brain crunching
To find projected point
Of interception
But too slow are you
And so "Batty" hastens,
Until you seemingly sprout
Into a vortex of flailing arms
And grabby hands
Scooping with empty palms
At shadowy projections.
My reflection spoke to me once too.
_______________________________________

Deal with the Dev.... crap thats me.

________________________________________

LOBOTOMIZED INDOCTRINATION

Brain wash wishes
But how to procure
Detergent, not too sure
If I'm looking
For a hot soak
Or a total bleach out.
Which way am I thinking today?
Incriminate yourself
Again,
I mean your brain again.
Wring it of it contents.
Goodbye.
No more.
Down the drain.
Patience must find me
Lest I turn myself
Into a walking headstone.
________________________________________

Have I lost it?

___________________________________________

GOO GOO GAH GAH

Never try, Never know.
That's the way the story goes.
So, once upon a time unfolds
To prince and king and queen untold.
A family long reigned from the throne
Made beggar and wise man hum and drone.
For years no change could break that stone
Safety to dear, soldiers too worn.
Life dragged on and men grew dim,
No plans were made, least of all on whim.
No child laughed, no women mourned,
No crier called, no herald, no horn.
Blackness came and death was born
To murder misery and release forlorn,
Soon death had finished
And life had grimaced and gasped its croaking rattle,
God moved on, chattered and yawned
But all I heard was prattle.
____________________________________________

1 and done

____________________________________

THE ROTE LIFE

"It's not you it's me."
"It's not that I can't handle it,
It's just.... well you know."
"I thought I was ready
But I've realized
Right now just really is a bad time."
"Well we would but we just can't
Take the time off."

And then life was over.
____________________________________

My dad the rapper

No internet last night as we just moved.

______________________________________

FLURRY OF WORDS

He doesn't spit
But speaks in his own sense
Like Em.
"This fairy-tale isn't it son!"
"Son, recognize opportunity and take a risk!"
Or was it,
"Take this opportunity and risk it,
You better recognize, son!"?
Like Norway and Mississippi
But the same idea.
______________________________________

Mackie Doos

__________________________________

EPOXY AND ME

Sometimes I fly high
Content to be
Rube Goldberg,
Adding without need.
Today is different;
Need is alive
So placement becomes skill
Of necessary meaning.
Particular amplification,
An art lost
To excess...
__________________________________

Der Waffle Haus

_____________________________________

STILL LIKE ME

Full expression is a dream
Unrealized. A caged construct
Made from earth and metals
Raging against harnessed
Contradictory state.
Created for earth
Weight locked
By family and station
By money and education
Locked by expectation
Of this social mess.
A jury of peers
Condemning for not being their peer.
Put them all in cages
Cease the seclusion
Cease life.
Reap like George and Daisy
The only employed half men.
Death will come heavy handed
To the waiters,
Leaving nothing in its wake,
Empty legacies of massive bodies,
Little imagination,
No courage.
___________________________________

Goodbye feet

___________________________________

MIRRORED

Tip of the tongue,
Fancy a taste of that sugar?
Delightful.
You seem a success.
You're O.K.
What happened to me?
I traveled beside them,
Shared my meals,
Shed blood together
And still lost everything!
Personal answers riddle and wriggle,
Like precious' owner,
In darkened caves
Eating worms and grubs
Leaving imaginations full and me
With nothing.
Hopeless is empty's goal
But mindset wins battles
With measure.
___________________________________

Catch Up

Big storm came and knocked out our internet connection from friday till earlier today.  Here is what I owe yous guys...

_________________________________

A BRIEF HISTORY

I am scientific notion
On tangential course to the Earth.
Don't fool yourself.
That was no flash
In the pan.
This is serious.
Explosive traveler,
Here and suddenly gone
Onto the next.
Distant.
So far,
But so relevant.
_________________________________

MEADE MAN

Ruled like a note
Booked by what is printed on its spine.
Blank,  loose leaf
Thats really the truth.
Michael is right,
Fuck this negativity,
This story isn't written.
All this background holds no value,
Other than it came
And went
And some will show up again
In the repeat act.
_________________________________

FOLGERS FALLACIES

Daybreak drudgery,
Blinding, searing burn.
Enter caustic light.
Like a tot,
Hedged by blanket fort,
I wait out time's attack.
The siege of my walls.
Time tells of a losing record,
Ensuring remembrance as proof:
Time's siege is redundant.
__________________________________

Broken Windows

_______________________________

ICE ME

Old joints.
Locked.
Frozen.
Swollen in atrophy.
Movement is upon me.
Progress slow
Proportional to his absence.
Brother to Jadis,
Ever present ruler
Of my wardrobe.
Where is my deep magic?
I've no place to eat,
No redeemer.
_______________________________

Skin

________________________________________

CHEMICAL PEEL

Speed demon disguise,
Mistaken for a careless roust about,
A hapless half heart.
Years spent
As master perfected painting and portrait
Providing reason to believe
In seeing.
Success is in the respect.
Soon canvas wears
Thin from acetone baths.
Raw flesh burns
A bright red
Flashing truth
Of the artwork beneath.
________________________________________

Not in this lifetime.

_____________________________________

UH, UH.  NO WAY.

Inertializing is the mechanism
At fault.
Transported back to seventh grade,
The orange rocket letdown.
Failure to ignite
Becomes a window.
A rodeo cowboy I've become,
Living eight seconds at a time.
They say animals feel our fear.
They take cues from us,
And so Old Blue outsmarts "The Man"
Again,
And the rocket window slams
Shattering fingers and wrists
lingering sill side
Pondering the unreality Beyond.
God, It hurts so bad.
The ground rushes
Away.
And sill is my only
Contact.
______________________________________

Remorse

_________________________________

FEELING ISO

I'm no Henry David,
Just a man.
Never meant to leave
This world
In search...
Of another.
Goals like constellations,
Never hung in a likeness.
Loftiness derived from arrogance,
This ego.
Shame swallows that guppy whole...
"Be a nice boy."
Closely related relative, I,
To this common denominator?
Obvious.
It's my life.  Relation is meaningless.
Comparison a plague
Avoid or play the past again,
Only to pay a price.
Affirming treacherous infidelity
Against feigned relative,
Once more.
Survivor of mortal wounds,
Annual miracles of resilience.
So cut up and cut out.
Work...
No one needs my address,
You'll know where to find me.
_________________________________

Sexy Musiq

_____________________________________

GOTTA COME

Remove the rocks from your ears dear
So you can hear clear dear.
Your fear is overwhelming
Pushing you here to tears.
So you wearily step to me.
Try to fucking rep on me.
Breathing hot air down my neck
You'll get checked you see?
Flushed words,
Hushed words,
Like a flurry of birds
Caught in an onslaught
Of feeling fucking absurd.
You complain you can't claim shit
But you never step it.
I'll leave you bloodied and bruised
Beaten up like the next bitch.
So fuck your talk
It's all wash when the rain comes
You're done.
Before we even got started son.
_____________________________________

Some kind of robot.

_________________________________

THIS OR THAT

This daybreak brings
No new today,
Only struggle
Of mind and heart.
A man learning
How to not apologize
For being.
Text in that power mag
Reminds and is quickly left
For hope of calming responses
Now.
Contradictions seem plentiful
I this system
I know.
________________________________

Cocoon

_____________________________

BURRITO

Fleecy, downy, warm.
Eyes swollen,
Forcing natural disposition
To prolong.
This warmth is comforting
Beyond any reassurance
This world has to offer.
It does what words can't:
Addresses the need
To feel warmth.
____________________________

Gluttony of the rock biter.

____________________________________________

LORD HARKONNEN

The sponge has sprung
A leak y
Bucket holds no stones.
Maybe gravel is the truth
To my freedom.
Grit and broken teeth
Fill mouths. Tried and tested
Followers of Pyornkrachzark
Bear these wounds,
As to declare their transformation,
From real to alive.
Focus is wasted
On basting this thanksgiving life
Long feast.
My world skewed.
Every sunday is a super bowl.
____________________________________________

Fecal Exam

________________________________________

AIN'T SHIT

Victory
Is usually microscopic,
Avoiding the field of view.
A moving target
Between the glass
And slip
Leaving weary eyes
Tired and hopes dashed.
An imagined black hole,
Satiated infrequently.
Where "W's" go
To die.
A skilled scientist uses all the tools necessary
And available,
Today 10 x
Just isn't enough.
________________________________________

Vitamin Z

________________________________________

I WANNA SEE THE HIPPO

A pace
Defined
Pushed by puppet's hands
Love is that
Feeling
That resistance
Inside.
A voice
Resonating.
Strength comes
From value.
So I pack up
My 10th grade econ lesson
To hit my streets,
Righting wrongs
And Wronging the ones that seemed right.
Hindsight is never really 20/20,
No sight is...
That would just be inhuman  
e.
_______________________________________

Work relatives.

OK OK I owe you 2 poems....  I have had some trouble lately that has kept me away from my computer, effectively hindering the writing project.  Seriously tho... once it raps up I will get back on track.

__________________________________________

THOUGHT I LEFT THIS....

The universe has my bait
And switch,
Forever
One step ahead.
Never an illusion
Of leadership.
Only cold reassurance
Of this slick oppression.
Is this life?
Reduced to constant decision making processes,
Riddled with consequences
Of not giving people what they want?
I can't get behind
This definition
Without losing
Myself
To hate and anger.
__________________________________________

Thats really all it takes...

_________________________________

HELLO AND GOODBYE

You and I don't play nice.
Unintentional convolutedness...
And that tasmanian devil refusal
That no wrong has been done
With those snow white hands.
Frustration abounds
Like exerting more love and energy
Into heated conversational battle
Only to realize
An audience of feigning ears
And bobble heads.
The nice guy thing...
Its really fucking up our workflow.
You're not communicating
What you think you are.
Whip cracks keep beat
To measured attempts of reassurance.
"I can want what I want
And still be a good person...
?"
These remnants stop freight trains dead.
The sweet melody of familial guilt
Ewing's third suite,
In the key of shit major.
_________________________________

I'll Go.

____________________________________

BFA BOUND

Woodchuck paranoia.
"Now I'm Angry!",
So I'll work faster.
Biting my tongue
But crocodile tears won't come.
Just these anime eyes
concealing emotion
With generalizations
Painted by me,
The cartoonist.
We all choose
The style we're most "comfortable" with.
____________________________________

Heres to you.

___________________________________________

DEAR ME,

What the fuck is so wrong
With me?
Is it just me?
Why with all the bullshit
In this world am I the thing
You focus on?
FUCK YOU,
By the way.
I have what it takes,
I know shit you don't.
Go spend your time dying.
Shrivel your already black and dead body
And FUCK OFF already.
No one needs to hear your stupid shit,
Bitching and moaning
About shit that doesn't concern you.
Its O.K.
So FUCK OFF.
I'm good.
I'm grown.
You are not.
You are so fucking afraid
To lose one fucking second,
Or miss one moment of this
Bullshit "last chance" lifestyle
You are so paranoid about.
NO.
FUCK OFF.
Let me spell it for you.
F.U.C.K. O.F.F.
Your opinion might hold water
If your shit was a little more stable,
And by the way,
Your stability isn't my fault either.
You are terrified.
Go away until you learn to communicate
With me.
Not like an adult,
Or a "grown up",
Or a "better person",
but just with me.
Until you do I refuse to share my blanket.
__________________________________________

No Sleep Till' My Birthday

Was in the hospital all night so i couldn't write last night.  I'll hit ya'll with 2 tomo.
______________________________

THING

There is a hand
With gentle brush
Does exhume
Life from within.
Pallid fingers, filthy nails
Crawling.
Steadily moving
Unseen lurker,
Conservationist of sorts.
Guaranteed for everyone
A visitor,
Who by means of an old relative
Occasionally "checks in".
Would I live
Differently
If I recognized its face?
______________________________

2nd Thoughts

_________________________________________

SOULBOUND

I've been grinding for 5 years.
Some sense of RL
Accomplishment comes,
But consumption has a lulling effect.
A sort of horse of a horse
Drawn carriage viewpoint.
Focus and discipline
Amount to just enough reality
To trick me.
My achievements aren't the sum of tallied points
They are my legacy.
My only story.
________________________________________

BLEE BLAH

______________________________

ACCEPTANCE

Electric fish
Caught and consumed
For calming comfort.
Cancer sticks, Cancer fish.
Is this my great shortcoming?
Or am I just a man?
Love is a worthy pursuit
But locked is my vocalization
Save for what excites me.
A masquerade party overwhelms
And proclaimed love wanders
Into sea of masked anonymity.
Have you seen her?
I was after all her plus one...
_____________________________

Peek-A-Boo

____________________________

CREEPER

Lifeline
Isn't mine.
I find refuge in calm
Waters of pleasing.
Others are given no reason
Or chance
To notice
Blended carnation.
A common flower.
Invisible
Until
You find
A better reason
To stare.
____________________________

You and the horse you rode in on...

________________________________________

WHITE

Quiet maiden,
Loving lady.
Heart like the rain.
Mearas coveted,
Yolked with the one who speaks with men.
I am noble steed
Not to be parted from master.
My love still beckons.
Caring mother of foal,
The legacy of feax.
I am gift
To savior.
Beautiful, bright.
I shall not be parted
From master.
______________________________________

Sometimes I'm ashamed of how 7331 I ahrs.

_________________________________________

SPIDERMAN NEVER ROLLED A PALLY

Necrosis.
Cripple.
A black blotch
Reaching across my back
And through my body.
Akin to Eddie Brock's alter ego.
Carnage, a fellow.
A disguised dealing,
Designed to remove ability;
Total neural re-route.
The heart is all that once remained,
Call it ignorance
Or blind faith.
It doesn't matter.
It still saved my life:
A divine protection,
Without a trace
Of forbearance.
_________________________________________

Mid Term Votes

______________________________________________

DEMONSTRACY

There's a bully list in my pocket.
A list of ways to dominate
And demean.
A guide to undermining hard work
And denying love won.
My bible of self assurance.
Assurance of never being hurt again
Like the time my heart was truly and unfairly broken.
A misrepresented phantom
Distorted by time and a forgotten perspective.
Donning the mantle of absolute victim
Softens death's blow
As I hand over the deed to my life
Without consideration.
I wish my brain had primaries.
_____________________________________________

Oh Noes.

_______________________________

LOST FOUND

I am still.
Intact.
Here.
Still breathing.
Eyes open.
Not sleeping.
No coma.
Still breathing.
In tune.
Still feeling.
Time goes.
Not me.
Routine fails.
Never dependable.
Friend.
______________________________

Dare me to jump over the bonfire?

__________________________________

BALANCE UPON RAZOR'S CRED

I am fearful
Of familiar
Sliding.
A special, smooth, slide
Quick to turn
And come the slick, slip.
Powerless I am
To tractor beam hooks
Like three chord pop
Pleasing a dumb, numb.
Satiety rolls over.
This is my comfort er...
I have to embrace
And embark
To leave it behind.
Am I lying?
To central core?
I know enough,
But I never stop there.
__________________________________

Daze

_______________________________

GROCERY GETTER

This is my grocery nightmare.
Eager boy.
Too eager hands.
Tired is the mother of this
Idea.
Unformed life
Reluctant, Ignorant and satiated.
Age compensates
For general social acceptance
Of this child.
Soon adulthood came
While summer nights cover
With balmy breeze
And afforded space
Purchased for me.
I am waiting,
Because thats what I was told to do.
______________________________

Rolling Hills

______________________________

YA LIKE TO GET WET?

Water slide ride
Straight to a plane of dreams.
No, not ignorant bliss
Or apathy.
I'm better than them today.
This is just another way
Of reminding myself
Work is good.
Good old fashion dirt
Under my nails
Somehow helps me sleep.
It makes me acceptable.
______________________________

Lazy Lovers

_______________________________

FIT TO BE FRIED

Boredom and guilt mingle
In the land of dim daylight
An evening spent
In purgatory trance
Till' crossover renders
Complete.
My dainty nothings
Wiggle like Pac-man ghosts.
Expressive,
Their apathy obvious,
A physical refusal
Of my designs
Leading to further inner dialog.
Self criticism
Is king
In the land of the shut in.
______________________________

Hmmmmm....

___________________________

I AIN'T NO SENATOR'S SON

Luck is silk
On my legs
Slip like that physic al
Brush of passing
Glance.
Sultry and seductive
Leaving sensation
In wake
Inexplicable.
The stuff of fairy tales.
___________________________

Brain Drain

I hate being sick.

_____________________________________________

OH BROTHER.

Paranoia
Is my constant companion.
The ghost of this man's
Spotted past
Haunts my waking hours.
Doubt is cast
By stone statues
Towering
Commissioned by that fretful figure.
Reminders of how history is supposed to repeat itself.
I wish there were statues of what I will do
And what I will become.
I don't know if they'd be worth the cost of stone
I'll still live.
_____________________________________________

Diggin' Time

_____________________________

RINGLING SLAVE

Perk holes ahead
This land is my own.
My home is yet to be built.
Situation stable
College bound
Soon to be
A professional circus clown,
Trained to seem the dolt.
New horizon line
Allows no more painted discourse,
There is only room enough
For one
Me.
_______________________________

I don't think you read it.

__________________________________

SO SCARY.....

Immediacy
Is of the utmost
And highest importance.
Your defensive stance is simply natural
And naturally reflexive.
Requisition of time
Sparks fear from blank stares.
Quickened breath
Panting heart
Lead you willy nilly
down hedged road.
___________________________________

Thats Good

______________________________

WHAT IT IS.

Full plate and pantry
List long
Laundry done
Clouds cushion
My moonwalk.
Daydreaming science
Applied to picture and painting.
Surface tells the story
So do I
I just take longer.
______________________________

Getting hard to do this lately

_____________________________

WHAT?

What will I be
Of my hope?
Is it true?
Futuristic mysteries
I pray for...
Safe passage
And progress.
The sole feeling
I believe
Is enjoyment
Of processes:
Creation.
Bridging
With the mute persons
Inside my mind.
Underpass dwellers
Passing notes between carts
Move mountains in my heart.
_____________________________

Big Day

DJ Puppyflex is officially online.  http://djpuppyflex.squarespace.com

Seriously go have some fun watching videos and listening to our songs.

__________________________________

BOY WONDER

I've pretended
To be a lot of things
While believing eyes glaze
With malaise
Serving reality to suit my mind's eye
And sooth ragged heart.
I kept walking one direction
Vacant mind preoccupied
Never thinking
About the inevitable
Circle I walked,
Looking for answers
Not meant for me.
I am trapeze artist.
Like matron and patron Grayson
Falling by murderous hand.
The truth in me looks on...
__________________________________

Dinosaurus Rexamus.

__________________________

EBON PARROT

Midnight perch
Cold
Heat falls
Absolute
Like a stone
Down a well
Around flightless man.
Grimaced and waiting
For this
Invocation
Tongue tip close
Never closed out.
Petrified wood and I
Never felt so close.
__________________________

Cop out.

______________________________

QUICK AND EASY

Quittin' shit
Just ain't it
That calms my anxious bones
Work gets done
Then time for fun
Keeps me from getting cold.
I tend to lose my mind you see
Purpose lacks, stare glaringly.
Holes burnt out of inside me,
This hot seat is last
Where you'll find me.
_____________________________

Big Red

_______________________________

BIRTH RIGHT

The day want dies,
Birth begets a new son
Of purpose.
Creation floats, aloof,
From fingers
Chewing runes, midair,
With indiscernible intent.
Hieroglyphic life
Fashioned for confusion
Waylay love's aid
Allowing self to find purpose
Again.
Betray my Esau I will.
_______________________________

Quasi

_________________________________

AND IT TOLLS

Ringing hands
And Ears
Run dry by circles
Of seclusion,
Ensuring progress halted
As such is unfamiliar.
Focus comes
At a high cost.
I must figure a new way
To pay rent.
_________________________________

Grown ass man.

__________________________________________________


INNOCENCE SEEMS EASY


There are things poetic
Children know
That I don't.
I take after this:
A familial vortex
Fueled 
By my need
To hear about it.
Knowledge went forfeit
From childhood
Wallpaper and favorite books
When survival became focus.
Master thyself
Believe,
especially know that it's worth more now,
To meet you'reself again
Despite what you know now.
___________________________________________

Capt'n in me?

____________________________

STAR MAP

Pirate's periscope,
Telescope, telescopic lens;
Altering how the world sailed.
Bridgeman with horizon eyes
Made safe crew and booty
Arriving port side
Time wise
And pay made.
Analog ical age
Gave way to digital
This linear approach
Is dated.
___________________________

I'll cut my own legs out from under me, Thank you very much.

_____________________________

POOF

Explosion half life
Folded and threatens.
Double dipped
Burnt so as to remain
As controller
Of a solemn visage.
Stalling
For feeble heart
To toddle
Like unsure babe
To doom's edge
And chalky cliff.
Comfort is this
Grimy language
Of it's converse.
Counting down
Minutes till completion,
Missing the miracle.
_____________________________

ZzzzZzzzz......

_____________________________

PATCH

What does it mean
To be free
Of this ball and chain?
Empty force
Of persuasion,
Nagging,
"Be careful."
I haven't lived yet,
Frightfully so.
What will she think?
I never knew myself
And decision rides
Car seat ready
Facing the airbag.
Continue on
Patchwork
Quilt.
______________________________

Easy Bake

_______________________________

COMMUNITY CHEST

Chance,
Born like an infant
Into parental care,
Discernment matters most.
Metaphysical matters
Spin your wheels endlessly
Until the wholesale collapse.
Chance
Could perish in the fall.
Parental proof
This baby is already finished.
_______________________________

New World Order

___________________________________

I WILL NOT BE THE KEEPER

The feeling of non-assimilation
Crests infrequently.
The dawning of realizations:
Sense is not made
By being
Here.
GPS Scrambler...
Was a search party sent
When I went missing?
Or never arrived?
Adaptation is a powerful ally
Running strictly
Linearly with it's participants.
Perhaps risk is my unfortunate new career.
A fondness unavailable,
Unreachable,
Still waiting
For me.
___________________________________

Secret eating....

_____________________________

UNCOMFORTABLE

Fatherly obsession
With hidden love
Of secret courtyards
Stowed embarrassedly
Deep within labyrinth's lines.
For hope?
For desire?
Motives vague,
Like a bad actor playing
Out their death
Too matter of factly.
Can we just decide
What we seem to be?
Errant acting preemptively casts
Roles for which
We were born to play.
Sadness filling my throat
Gurgling at prospect
Of half expressions
And total impressions
Filling gaps
For the "what not"
I am.
Personal treachery
Only answers to one name:
Murder.
_____________________________

Return of the......

_____________________________________

NEVER JUST ONCE

Delayed
To breakaway
Lingers from yesterday.
A host
Of ghosts
Raised to ensure that I can pay.
Fleet feets meet
Tiller of wheat,
Or so the story goes,
What's known
Won't hold,
Credit untold,
No beauty beside the rose.
So turn tail and runned out
This stop I been gunned out
Left by sheriff
Who'll tariff
My heart and my soul.
So remember to roll
Through said curfew
And plan a date
To get away;
Cause' tomorrow's already dying
If you made it today's yesterday.
______________________________________

Creature destruction, discard?

_______________________________________

SENGIR

Obtained by sweat
And tears
Is my sanguine vision,
Sight through vessel and life.
Scope of the heart,
Reader of the red
Lettered text.
Trustworthy aspect,
Brackish and warm,
My flowing love
Reminds me
Where true purchase and presence come from.
Death will come
At her peak of honesty,
Purging the good
From the every man.
I have withstood my severance.
My blood is on my own hands.
________________________________________

End of the line

_______________________________

LEVELS AND LEVELS

Sky light
Bright,
Familiar embrace
Of this internal investigation.
Jealousy leaves
Ganglion divided,
As if indecision was quantifiable
On the cellular level.
Could I be sorted
Out?
Parts that matter,
The feeling parts,
Acknowledge good and evil
Are subdivided even further;
They are not without their converse
And nothing, no matter how small,
Belongs wholly to one constituent.
Obsession over assertion
Of black and white regulation
Is quite the merry go round.
_________________________________

I'm gonna do it.

_____________________________

RAIN MAKER

Bound and tired,
My love constrained
Afraid of what will be-come
Of what I know
And welcome
As not enough.
Somehow this
Beautiful man misses truth
By margins proportional
To that of Skilling and Fastow.
My books are cooked.
Media meltdowns have delivered
This shell.
The end
Isn't come.
Light as a dehydrated sponge
Waiting for rain.
_____________________________

Those trees are talking..... and throwing apples.

____________________________________________

BRAINS AIN'T ALL THEY CRAKED UP TO BE

Mocking jig
Scarecrow stare and smile
extend effortlessly
From features forgotten.
Propped and posed
Waiting for things to fall
Into place.
When will the world start
Spinning Around
Me?
Crystal collectible
Still art
Surrogate mothers
My heart
Lending brittle qualities
To scare boldness
And remove esteem.
Straw stuffed
Feet heavy with chaff.
_____________________________________________

He's heating up.

________________________________________________

LUKE

There is a tapestry
Adorned with scenes of love
And adventure.
Men taking hold of dreams and desires.
Battling beast and barbarian alike.
Upon pike and spit are heads
Of those who oppose the strong,
But these men are simply woven fiber.
A symbol.
An ideal.
Stories are never complete,
Romanticized analogies forgetting pain
And loss
Without which process and growth would cease to exist.
Familiar visage on adventurer and pike
Alike.
_______________________________________________

Fish are friends.

__________________________

CRUSH-ED

I have tried
To stop
This tailspin
Consumes me
Targeting fear
And baseless obligation
Turning me
On a death roll rally.
When I die
I will become a fish
Swimming
Away.
__________________________

Golden mist.

__________________________________________

AMERICANA CLASSIC

I have dreamed of Americana
Simplicity.
Knowing the land
Out side my front door.
Sunset close
On picture perfect
Pictures of perfect.
Nothing holds me
And everything holds me
To it.
What does it mean?
To be a man?
Here?
Curriculum counterweighted
To guarantee compliance
With Americana dialect.
Have it all for nothing,
That being what I never earned in the first place:
MY freedom.
My war was never fought
And now hopes and dreams sleep
Amidst tall grass
And star gaze through july nights
Tucked in by sunset wheat.
Hearts explore this mighty expanse
Hoping to find a remedy to not knowing
Struggle.
Paper purchase and power falls
Short when the grass turns to snakes
And stars fall
Like perfectly, planned projectiles.
These lands are now
The lands of unrealized potential.
No.
Scratch that.
Rather,
The lands of the unrealized.
__________________________________________

I like cheese. Sometimes.

_______________________________________

FIGURING OUT FIGURING IS DUMB

I'm trying hard
Not
To ruin this.
Again.
It's never what it seems.
Only occasionally what I need.
Elusive lover,
Essential to happiness,
Purpose,
Sanity.
The harder I try
The more painful it becomes.
Now, perhaps
For the first time,
I will deny myself
Indulgence.
Indulgence of the fraudulent claims
Urged by insecurities' icy hand.
Go.
Move.
Words made hollow
As here and now
Are their successors.
________________________________________

Please pass the cheese.

___________________________________________

DON'T SAY I NEVA TOLD YA'

T and A
Won't save the day
When good looks sag
And fade away.
You couldn't trade me
Any lady
Who's not worth her weight in gold,
I'm not sold
Unless a clear mind sits stern upon her throne.
No bones can be thrown
To a dude who's an ass fiend
Ten years then come tears
From pancakes instead of ass cheeks.
Now age will ravage all in this world
But looks are only half the story for my baby girl.
She's got what it takes to keep me around
She's all woman
Worth her weight
In love
Pound for pound.
__________________________________________

Double Trouble

__________________________________

BIRD BRAIN

Little kids will climb
Trees
Without assumption
Of self
Competency.
Vertical scramble
Until arm's reach
Meets arm's end.
The bough breaks
Or sudden slip of caring
Lowers eyesight
To constructed reality.
Why does consciousness make things
More frightening
Sometimes?
Over thinking
Has two sides.
My polyamorous heart
Loves to love
Both sides of that story.
Lately I've only had eyes
For one.
________________________________

DJ Crazyass

_________________________

NORMAL, LIKE ME

Overcoming daily desire
To forget
Placed and loved choice
And replace
with easy
Cheeseburger delights
Sap my back
But strengthens a core
Somewhere.
I'm told its mine
By other parts of me
That I'm told are mine
As well.
These are the vegetables and fibers
Of my life
My heart.
My soul.
This is how I stay
Regular.
_________________________________

Love makes me tired

___________________________

OREGON TRAIL

Option is
My strong river.
A neighbor
Of flowing force
Farce
Ready to pull
Me under and deliver
To sensed
Unseen destinations.
Confused
At fear's true root
I stall
Waiting for clarity
It won't come
Accidentally hoping
For what would kill me,
A river run dry.
Attempted forge
Glides thoughtless.
_____________________________

Plastic Parts

___________________________________

PINOCCHIO

My wooden legs still dance
Numbly,
Dumbly.
Sensitive steps
Are a thing of the past,
A monument
To an earnest walk
In the wrong direction.
Funny how self surgery is like dreaming.
What the fuck?
Instant gratification comes
Due to a leaky memory
And Dramatized pain.
Leave me the world
And I'll eat and drink.
I'll swim and run,
Climb and sing,
Love and make love.
I will forget
About prosthetics
And their long lost origins.
___________________________________

Octo beard.

________________________________

RESUME

Communal hope
For a new rep
To emerge.
Hope is just hope.
Seabreeze dreams
Of purple mountains
Majesty, a sign of greatness
To come,
All are simply
In dreams.
An attempt to feel
OK with current
Station and progress.
Treading water
Never allows for outward thought,
Soon waves overtake me
And drowning resumes
Sending me back
To Davey Jones
conscription.
______________________________________

Disney movies taught me everything I needed to know.....

_________________________________

WHERE'S MY LADY?

Consumed by belief
Of importance of self
Preservation.
One takes the metaphorical
Eye for an
I.
Unsettling disconnect settles
On this nervous war party,
Quick to use any
Informant.
Legs speed a weight
Past point of possible return
Decision
Is printed without acknowledgement
Of base level operations
Blind to plant manager.
Said blind dog
Steers a bus
Full of puppies
Swerving
At every noisy neighborhood
Tramp.
___________________________________

Original Wraith-sta

_____________________________________

IT WAS MY CHOICE

I've known the owner of lies
And seen winged demons
Hang in dark solitude
Amongst his great room's ballasts.
Black pine, shadowed
By cooking fire
And forges
Fashioned for ulterior motives
Disguised by friendly eyes.
Time passes slowly in trial's transit
Soon resting upon cliff's edge
Regardless of time
And force.
Absence of grey
For this wraith.
 ______________________________________

Damn it feels good to be.......

____________________________

DON'T CHANGE

Honor is hard to pen without action
When men have backed and tracked
For passion.
A fleeting moment
Leaving no one alone but
Cutting hearts out
Like they've got no place in their own home.
A disgusting display
Of man's lust and array
Of weapons handmade
For death's hallowed day.
Skeletons of past
On Dia Del Muerte.
The day made for men
Busy digging their own graves
Hurried by piss poor promises
Of fate laden fame.
Soon dawn comes
And leaves loved ones
Wishing slower days had won
Out over building son's trust fund.
The raising of this empire
Left isolation's spire higher
Closed out by cloud
And how could now
This love pronounced expire?
On top I thought
I schemed a plot
Retreated twice as tired.
From here on out
This rule will count,
Fall out of touch?
You're fired.
_______________________________________

My Turf.

______________________________________

NOT ACTUALLY RELATED

Many brothers have held
A heart so.
Transient eyes
Glazed by sponge
Feelings of love
Never felt
From younger days.
Paternal awareness
You could say.
Freedom rings loudly
And barley blood
Makes memories
Temper to current status
Quo.
Keeping the peace is easy
At home.
__________________________________

All Gone

__________________________

TRY AS YOU MAY

Cried many a day
And night
Away.
Wolf!
As blank stare
Into pitch black
Star painted beyond.
With option to fix,
The solution
Is never taken.
Why.     ?
Fear is governing
Everything
Now,
Fear of losing.
What.    ?
I have nothing
Even God could take.
__________________________

Creativity

_________________________

DRAMA

The helpless man
Worries
Those who preside
As brother.
Time runs
A race
Speeding through turns
Pushing this enfeebled specimen
To body's break.
Abandonment lends a phantom
Hand
To those who spin
The story
Of victim.
So busy
Being a professional
victim.
Irony is funny
When involvement feels tertiary.
This isn't funny anymore.
____________________________

The birds and the bees.

______________________________

MIND BLANK

Many,
Are these poisons
By which this man beleaguers
Himself.
A throng of originally, incidental
Innocent, incidents;
Altered by a dark mind,
Scribed into tome
Made true
By simply existing.
Logic has lost reason
By attempting to logically reason
Through epic stacks
Born by painless freedoms
Won by past generations.
Collective experience:
The bee,
Life is it's stinger.
______________________________

Eat mah cake too!!!!

__________________________

OLD ROADS

Cold
Like an ex's kiss,
Shocking.
Excitingly bad.
Is circumstance dictating
My life again?
Loneliness and boredom
Possess terrifying synergy.
A small silent auction
Held for aspiration's last breath.
Will I be the highest bidder?
Sticker shock by my desire
Overwhelming.
If desire and dream were but one.
___________________________

Beautiful woman.

_____________________________

SHE MOVES ME

Lustful lady
Ocean.
You lap upon my beach
Endlessly.
Warm currents, clinging
Forcing surrender
To absolute power.
Warming body softly
By breeze and bath.
Resourceful seductress,
Confined
And deep.
Deep so as to be lost
In depths
Unknown to another.
Breaking bosom
Draws close
These eager lovers
Until all that is known
Is gone.
________________________________

The wall.

________________________________

I'M TALKING TO IT

Stone cold flurry.
Fitful, fearful, jerking.
Darkness envelops eyes
As Alice falls deeper
Out of touch
With this fabric
Upon which nomadic life pitched
Temporary tents of trust
And willingness.
Move on.....
Move on, you of the thirteen,
Wandering for forty centuries
Is more accurate.
Maybe consciousness is purgatory
A tense limbo of waiting
For revelation of life and time,
Still waiting,
Like students at semester's end.
I'm sorry
Apologies don't mean anything
To you anymore,
Innovation of the impossible
Doesn't much seem worth it.
__________________________________

Noir

______________________________

CHOKING ON MY SUPPOSE TO

Spoken jabs,
Or maybe stabs
At reconciliation with self.
Dialogue of make up
Speeches, one after another
Spoken to everyone but me.
Explanation literal
And awkwardly transparent.
Confusion between confession
And convincing.
Stories wrap necrotic images
Of perfect self
Under inches of gauze,
Never ending self surgery
Of guilt and shame.
Fear of self and opinion
Daddy always knew
Exactly what to say.
The truth and a lie
Don't meet
Halfway
In the middle.
____________________________

Self help..... lol

________________________________

COMMONS FOUND

When we were kids I hated you.
Your presence
Was worse than annoying.
Abrasive.
It was all I could do to resist
Tempting throttle.
Ignorance reigned supreme
Until action
Of my own
Pushed sodden boy
Out of his convenient life;
I was 24.
You were shaped,
Withheld social circumstance
And experience
In fear
Of pain and corruption of a simple soul.
Mother's plans paved the foundation
Of your nine circles, heated and molten.
Resistance ran course
Giving way to a man
Grown by heartbreak.
Two men,
Grown by heartbreak,
Raised with a country between them
Finally coming to terms
With dispelled perceptions
Of faded ideas.
Familial wholeness, Individualism,
Self help.
The non-existent screamed with rage.
I need you.
You are window
To the less explored parts.
The darker side of my desire to forget.
Two men,
Finally sharing common ground.
__________________________________

Seasonal depression disorder.

___________________________

SPRUNG

I can smell your alignment.
Crystal lattice
In striking formation.
I can feel you
With my nose,
Lungs expanding
Enlarging to behold
This ancient exchange.
Mind a flutter
Hope based
On your families'
Rudiments.
Like the smell of dirt.
I think I could taste
You.
If I tried.
Elusive bite.
___________________________

WB Cometh... NO WAY!

_______________________________

RAINBOW BRIGHT

Rainbow beauty,
Concentric circles stacked ablaze
For storage.
Aligned for case and cover
Sheathed to fit.
Precious cargo courier,
One of many,
A family of data.
Multiple facets of media meld
For quiet conformation
Sequence of specific statement and type.
I am brother.
Adopted in reversal,
Longing to roam
Straight faced
With worry and courage in heart.
Duty above all else.
Perhaps I'm just an admirer.
Perhaps I'm just an admirer of your work.
_______________________________________

R.I.P.

_________________________________________________

FREEDOM OF SPEECH NEVER STOOD A CHANCE

Two paths diverge from one lie.
One left, one right,
They switch to fool the eyes.
Leaving honest men forgettin'
The honest life worth livin'
Sentencing them to life,
With no parole,
Addled head still spinnin'.

GET THE FUCK UP!
Your out of time!
You took too long!
Your problem, not mine!
Close that mouth!
Don't Pout!
Stop now!
There's no way out!
Cause honesty
Don't guarantee
Liberty or justice
You must have
Confused us
With someone
you trusted.
Again, your fault, not mine.
It's on you
From two paths
One lie.

At the time
Clear mind
Slipped by and failed you.
Heart broken and alert
No one left to bail you.
Life ain't fair
Thats the truth for you,
Fight back
Or get used
To getting fucked
By their view.
________________________________

FPS

___________________________________

YOU'RE OK.  NOW.

I am these borderlands.

Obsolete and barren,

Vacant.

Lands of lawless suspicion.

Free lands 

Of kings and bandits alike.

Equalizer of title and station

One who by proximity embraces change.

No rule governs

The wind.

None tell the dunes where to face.

Unmatched elemental wilderness creates

New option

For the proletariat.

I will take back my power.

___________________________________

It hasn't gone yet.

__________________________________

SIZE MATTERS

Beached and baked,
Sun bleached.
Born of sediment.
Sedimentary amalgamation
Couldn't withstand
Force applied
So series of singular
Identical happenstance
Lead to me.
Compression and heat
Made my father,
Erosion was my surrogate.
Manhood's map eroded,
What I learned misleading.
For now
Hope is a pebble.
________________________________

Lies

Can't do an installment of legends tonight.... other stuff is taking up my mind grapes.

__________________________________

KIT KAT

Velvet dark,
Hot air's press
Warm and slowly
Suffocated, sedation.
Half asleep.
Restless sleep.
Eyes closed
Mind wandering.
Every morning met
By sore back
And cramped feet
From past night's squandered.
Soul searching
Is back breaking.
Unfortunately,
All I need is a another break.
Stepwise mentality
Scares fuzzy awareness
Wringing hands in fear
Of what may
Be chosen.
______________________________

Peter Panning 2

Part 2 of the five man series
_____________________________________

LEGENDS 2

We travel now with three in tow,
These others, oh,
For long we've known
And shared many nights,
With pints,
Beside the fire.
Trust them with our lives we do,
I'd recommend that you should too,
As stewards of honor are rare and hard to sire.
In time,
Our bond grew stronger yet,
Some lessons learned we can't forget,
As reckless blades and arrows met targets true.
Allies fell beside our feet
As sword and shield loudly meet,
But five prevailed
And hailed the king in tune.
Mind, heart, body and soul
The king was proud, his chest did bow,
When seeds of his enemies demise were sown
And grew.
Seeds did bloom
And peace came soon
The kingdom rejoiced at bounty's boon,
For evil seemed at bay entombed,
Feet cut from underneath.
Over time the stories waned
And hearts grew weak and memories faint.
Even stories of the five were forgotten too.
But written by fate
Our heroes did wait
For time thats right to inundate
And regale men's hearts with legends of the truth.
________________________________________

Peter Panning

Part one of the 5 man series.
__________________________________

LEGENDS 1

My never never land beckons
My superman.
Shield arm strong and sinewy.
Arcane force within these veins,
A common skill,
But not arranged.
Path of holy warden parts shadow
To see.
Another shares this power too
A brother,
Mage,
Far from a brute.
A learned scholar of text and codex, he.
Spinner of these mana strings
Within all that lives
And all that breathes
A fearless battle standard
Beats loud and clean.
____________________________________

To be cont..... tomo.

Sometimes you trick yourself into believing good shit is bad for you.

This ones for you MJB.  Not necessarily about you, but as per your request.
______________________________________

HALLS OF REFLECTION

Dying to be born
Into alien skin,
Heroism comes so naturally now,
Like ancient rocks falling
From tomb's mouth
Bidding come
Meet your brother,
Another man, half forgotten,
Here in ancient circumstance
Pushed away
By crowded modern matter.
Tongue unknown
Is chosen
And complexion green
In hews holds truth
Of the truest
Valiance within.
A part screaming
For acknowledgement,
Hoping to be made
Legitimate.
Sleep from eyes
Heavy with wandering
Lends reality to the unreal,
Albeit forcing life at twilight;
A purchased lifestyle,
Freeing and prohibitive.
In my heart is a lust
For adventure
Of my brother's world,
The kind I know
From our waxing spirit bond,
Born of carnal need for struggle
To earn victory
In battle.
_________________________________

Motley.

________________________________

UNDERESTIMATED

Dr. Feelgood's wares are sorted
And occasionally social commentary
Comes from unlikely mouths.
I've been surprised
By my own ugliness
Before,
Finding truth unbearable,
But this....
Near unbelievable.
Like a fat kid,
Mid Hoho,
Coming to grips
With their sad addiction.
To whom is my life a parody?
I wish for one
Conversation,
To clear my conscience.
Why is this learning curve actually bewildering?
Put your audience at home.
Please them.
______________________________

Vote Dent.

___________________________

TWO FACE

I've noticed
That instability
Is occasionally admired.
Snap judgements
That fall to the right side
Of the coin,
Praised thusly.
Pay no mind
To that which doesn't mind you...
Everyones listening;
Victory is hidden
In the steam of emotion.
Find a way through
And the coin trick is yours.
____________________________

Cruisin' the Natchez

______________________________

BATH TIME

Language barrier
Bars obvious exchange.
Dark eyes
Beneath black hair
Like an ebon mask
Obscuring thought and intent
Further
Intimidation is used
Seemingly randomly
Almost more as a safeguard
For self assurance.
Uneasy aires
For unfamiliar company
Used to overseeing,
I am an exercise
In restraint for them
Mirrored in jet optics
Flipped and assimilated
As nature so often supplements
Curriculum for precious intel.
I will always be a mystery,
I will only puzzle myself.
_____________________________

Yeah, if you can make money doing it it's ok.

___________________________________

AND IF I'M POOR?

Weird guy
Finds the time
To love weird guy things.
Happiness.
A heartthrob,
A closeted lover,
Hidden from view.
Disfigured face,
Misshapen body
Lend contradiction
To such passionate love
Shared.
Fleeting feelings of normalcy
Shooed away,
"Find a new perch!"
Like bats
In a subdivided home.
Acceptance is spending power.
Perhaps my love will never be wealthy.
Today, forsaken love feels a thought
Worse than death.
_____________________________________

Abrupt endings make me smile.

____________________________________

CONTRADICTIONS

Youthful curves,
Property of porcelain goddess.
Skin of addictive touch,
Scent of absolute fascination.
Eyes of indulgence,
Go ahead,
Drink until your heart aches.
A dizzying display of aptitude.
Citrus lips,
Full, ready, ripe.
Pursed,
In mimicry,
Of another.
A defense mechanism,
Or perhaps coping.
Hide the truth just deep enough
To avoid average attempts to ascertain authenticity.
To avoid uncovering an authentically purulent tongue.
An instinct
To rival that of the lemming.
For once a few words dive headlong to death
Quickly the rest rush to join.
She is general to the undead,
Advisor to demons,
Constituent of succubi....
All unwittingly.
And so, like an untrained dog,
She continues
To shit where she sleeps.
__________________________________________

Do you wanna date......

______________________________

TAKE IT AWAY EYWA........

Manufacture me
Some glory please,
A sense of accomplishment too
While you're at it.
Muscle bound and strapped,
Some things are worth coveting.
Truth of sullying,
One's true form,
Clears that up real quick anyway.
Galavant in this play pen
World
Disregarding reality
Forsaking birth right
For prospective
Prospectives.
I wish I could really say I'm better
On paper,
I'm not,
That's why I'm here.
Unobtanium.
______________________________

Reiteration

_______________________________

CHALK ANOTHER UP

Possession is nine tenth's perception,
Based on convenience
Of what you want today.
If it were law
You'd be much further along
By now.
Fate-less expression
Given to the wind.
One in one million.
Smarts run in my family,
Right along side fear.
________________________________

Big kahuna

_______________________________

BARKER - EWING

Epic indulgence,
So good it hurts.
Phantom pain
From my second,
Previous heart.
Choice is this ruler's surname,
Friend of the soundness
Of oneself.
Only capable of dwelling in caverns
And deep ravines.
Support carved
By millennia
Make most at home.
Strength of decision,
Like the snake.
Carving with brute force
To meander
Where it will.
________________________________

Roid rage.

____________________________

THE JUICE

Mediocrity is the moniker.
Fabled story
Spun of spider's
Silk.
Sticky trap asleep.
All but spider pray,
All but spider don't know.
Mandibles disassemble
These tries
But fail to sever ties
Of entanglement.
Holographic illusion.
What's wrong with
You?
___________________________

Run in.

_____________________________

MAGNETO

My chest      aches.....
With the weight of one thousand
Spine crushing burdens.
The kind that seem relentless
In thought
And nature.
Silently protesting passengers
Awaken me at night
Ever pensive
Of next step and how to.
Little room for much else.
They are the nameless
Children,
Bastards;
From another man
Long gone but
Lingering still.
If intent was questionable
The old soul would have awoken
At five, but intent
Has always been pure.
Honest.
Albeit wrong at points.
Cries from hearts growing,
A love unexplored
Now simply waylaid and outgrown
Like a favorite pair of pants.
Beware.
Lies invest in many reputable faces
Commonly preying on misconceptions
Of fact and source
Leaving the strong,
Confused and waiting.
What seemed logical now leaves the heart
Vulnerable to pinpoint pierce
Of misguided honesty.
Time will not run backward
at the sight of briny tears.
Leave time,
And hope
And worry.
Awaken.
You have not lost a son
Estrangement is part of our story
Oddly meaning more
Between ourself than ourselves.
Nothing will ever be fixed.
Life must be lived
And awareness is our only optical plan.
Awareness of one another
Including unbidden passengers
Grief and love alike.
Offer yourself.
____________________________________

Fat.

_____________________

IF ITS NOT CLASSIC

Aching innards,
The cheesy divine has poisoned me
Once again.
Lured by savory promises
Of substantiality.
Sign me a waiver
Snap stupidity
From it's perch
Press pause to dodge
These moments.
Fatten up the kill
I sing
At the bottom of my lungs
Heard by those who have ears
For my hum drum.
______________________

I feel it. Rly. I do.

_________________________

DAS BOOT

Drowning in a steel cage
Gaseous escape fleeting
Hope of chance.
This biology will fail
From inability
To sublimate.
Soon frigid death
Will rush lungs invited
To the kill.
A sort of forced death
No peace here.
Mind melting
From this telekinetic war zone.
Anxiety laps at my lips
And pries
With cracking graphite fingers
To open hinged jaw
And throat.
Soulful stretch
Through body
Pulling outside in.
Demons won't come
Sleepless rest coats a pain
huddled in it's proximity.
__________________________

Dear, physics Please hurry up.

_______________________
TWA

Close to forgotten
Chance at daily redemption
Like ribs out of place,
A pain in my side
A need to set.
These brush strokes
Are forgetting,
Leaving sadness
Of shadowfiend
To wallow
In singular loneliness.
Alien body
And voice
Severed for the minute
Clarity on a subject
Springs forth
Like wine from a carafe
Dancing on tongue in july.
Soon I will amass
My army of moments
And honor time
Lost.
_________________________

Super Heroes

______________________________

MEDIEVAL

Shattered back
And brittle decisions
The spiny man moans
Wishing
For a new life.
Replacement of this penance
Cage.
Blood bathing legs
From confines too tight
A reminder
Change is elusive.
What new device
Of self torture
Is he working on now?
Ones for restriction of thought
And ones for expansion of judgement
No doubt.
Take my heart.
I don't deserve it.
________________________________

All of the sudden

______________________________

BODIES IN THE BACKYARD

Rationing understanding.
Acceptance moisturizes
Parched skin, burnt
From heated jealousy
Years searing in avoidance.
Your code is
Fucking
Bullshit.
Hard work is essential,
But your ignorance is
Fucking
Rank.
Who the
Fuck
Are you?
You are my desert,
Throat dry and eyes full of grit.
You are why
I can never seem to get one
Fucking
Clear look at myself.
Running commentary
On worlds unknown
To yourself.
Fear motivates the manic,
And when it hits the fan
You lose your
Fucking
Marbles.
I will not be like you.
You are wrong.
You will not change.
You are closed minded.
How the
Fuck
Will I love you?
___________________________

Panting

_______________________________

I CAN TELL

Waiting for scraps
Like a dog.
Embers down and smoke
Filled longhouse.
Table, hours empty
Cold.
Relentlessly waiting,
Dogs will debase
Unwittingly
Due to ignorant nature
And priority.
Sustenance more important
Than maintenance,
Proclaiming a deft lack
Of awareness
A feral disconnect
Asserting now
Over human nature.
Stores empty from time to time,
Although door is still hinged.
It still swings freely.
Perception is third nature
To the feral,
As introspection goes only
KneeD      eep.
__________________________________

Catch twenty two.

_____________________________

7x7 AINT ENOUGH

Descending star of youth
Fade to white
Old light aged
By travel exudes
Health
From dwarfed past.
Love holds no points
Hostage
But instead rules
Connecting fearful
To fearful
Providing old light
Bright from old shoulders
Muddied by sons and daughters.
My father's star
Is small, not humble
Cold blue
Sight does deceive
As a glow warmer than bright
Does resurrect
Old, dead limbs
Frozen from exposure,
Hidden and packed
In white denial.
_____________________________

Seriously, I'm not nervous.

__________________________________

PITFALL

Conversation made convenient
By lack of physicality.
Temporary lapse
Of defined presence.
Subconsciously,
Mouth agape,
Breathing heavily,
Mind's eye staring
Vacantly
At unseen points.
Timing of handmade language
Assumes honesty
For hurried obligation.
Many have been broken
By semi-familiar looks
From ones who hold
Such fraudulent powers.
____________________________________

BFF LOL

____________________________

FORGETFUL JON

There's part of me
That falls apart
Just from you're unrealized
Footsteps.
Silent slippers
Fashioned by fear
And purchased
With pennies of denial.
Subterfuge lends a foot
As silent guilt slips
In the backdoor
Setting fire to preparation,
Planting unsavory seeds.
Excavation seems unnecessary
Destruction of self
Is a painful lazy river.
No start
Or stop
Only hidden intersections
Easily ignored or forgotten
Blurring
Until grey
faced and emaciated.
One confused,
So far as to forget to eat
Stumbles forth to fall
Downhill
Disappearing
Into condensation's wafting attempt:
Illusion of sublime.
___________________________________