Sinister Fineous Darkvire

___________________________________________

THE ARCHITECT IS MOST DANGEROUS

What seems a pointless pain
Points out my chronic condition.
My daily is against bone and sinew.
Edging, to win freedom
From my disguised eye's
natural coping game.
Fault is often pressed
Like a hot iron to polyester,
Quickly ruining more than
What was at stake
?
__________________________________________

Daylight stays

_________________________________________

HOT PAVEMENT UNDER FOOT

Boys run summer streets
Unaware of life spilling
Like an out of control drunk.
Abundance of feast
Run as hard as you can boy.
This moment you are alive
Don't you forget it!
Resignation's origin lies
In dank, dark insides
Leaving sun and air
To the blind
Of beauty taken granted.
Go live
Now.
________________________________________

A to B

_____________________________________________

HERMIONE TECH CHEATS

Your timing is terrible
And your choice of words...
Even worse.
You think you know?
Just cause' you've been there, done that?
Bull.
There are and will always be parts of me
You don't know about.
Parts that lie outside of even my influence,
Parts that neither allow or disallow
Anything
In general
Stretching to relate to what is known.
_____________________________________________

Bull Headed

Internet went down last night.
_______________________________________________________

CAULIFLOWER EAR

No.
Stop.
You gotta wait
For others to speak along with you.
I'll keep refusing you,
So you better learn.
The closest thing I have to you
I that Hayes girl,
Frightened right out of what I wanted in the first place.
Caught between what it means
And what it means I have to do.
_______________________________________________________

Hope it makes sense

____________________________________

BOOM BOOM OW

Clucky, clucky
Peck, peck, peck
I eat all the birdseed
Fallen round off the deck.
Second hand scraps
Taste delicious to me,
But I've promoted second hand abuse
I was first on the scene.
_____________________________________

Temperence

______________________________________

THE LAWSON EFFECT

Take what comes
To get whatcha' got.
Days like today
I don't feel so hot.
Cause when I think too much
I realize what's not
Easy for me
So I scheme
And I plot.
For days and days
I rack my brain waves
Until epiphany's shadow
Comes round here and says,
"True,
It's not what you do
That troubles you through.
It's how your moods moves
And make you behave."
_____________________________________

Speak to the trees

________________________________________________

FIRE FALL

Insurmountable pain,
Seems a relentless demon
Summoned from my ninth.
Arachnid eyes in cluster
Miss no movement of mine,
Preventing escape and engagement.
And so I greet my awkward relative
With averting gaze and submission,
For fear of inbred retaliation.
I, like the ranger,
Hold the undead lives of thousands in hand
As I am a son
Of the nobles.
I alone command by the sword.
I shall have my day of victory,
When demon and summoner will submit to me
And bid me their will;
And I ascend tiers
To the second son of Nimloth
And his lonesome court
To grow strong
Like his hidden son.
Side by side to rule
In white.
_______________________________________________

One is silver and the others gold.

______________________________________

INCOMPATIBLE

You probably should go,
I mean you haven't done anything wrong,
But I think it'd be best if you left.
Yeah, you do make me happy.
I know, I know I'm "O.K."
It's just that
There is more for me
Than this;
More for me than you.
I am a shaper
And although consuming is required
Shaping is more so.
So please,
I think it'd be best
If you left.
_____________________________________

BLAH BLAH With a side of BLAH

________________________________________

CAUGHT ME WITH MY EYES DOWN

Surprise!
I'm here.
Now.
You look
Different.
What does this mean?
Double rainbow?
Almost full circle?
Currently present
Enough
To document
And share.
_________________________________________

Give it a rest.

______________________________________________________

EXCUSES TO DIE

Anxiety is a living nightmare.
My ever present companion,
Always quick to reassure me
That I'm doing more than not enough.
So I sun tan in my guilt rays
And bask in the steam
Of my doused inadequacy stones,
Embracing full on the choking sensation
Of this sweat lodge named panic.
I really paid to do this?
Worry is my pre-req
For grad courses in "Doing Nothing
With My Life",
Did I mention my dissertation is on
"Personal Paralyzation due to incorrect self-indulgence"?
I bet my parents would still be upset
If I dropped out.
______________________________________________________

Fried Chicken

__________________________________________

GIANT WINGS

This decision must be forced on me,
I lose contact with reality:
The truth,
The scope of things.
Weekends evaporate
And nights seem to vanish.
Life becomes mac and cheese,
Delicious....
Then guilt and gut ache arise
Like some mechanism of a terrible sense
Of self correction.
And I feel bound to reply
Akin to brother ostrich.
__________________________________________

Sleepenstein

__________________________________________________________

BEER AND MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER

Short and sour,
I think it's still good.
Like "La Roja".
I'd rather it
Than typical tympanum tearing bitches,
Including "this moi".
This boy ain't all roses and happy thoughts,
I've got an axis of evil,
An alignment of "other men"
Inside my body,
Acting out their own agendas.
Sadly, I am expected
To roll like Franklin pocket trans,
But I think an unfiltered taste
Would refresh me.
__________________________________________________________

Would have made for a bad book.

__________________________________________

WHAT IF THOMAS HAD FAILED?

Simplicity just sings to me,
"Do what your heart desires.
Hurry now,
Forget when and how.
For soon life will expire.
I am the son of fear and speed,
I've hastened here to meet your need
For in your eyes half life does creep
Oh so creepily.
Put down you weapons,
Hoe and rake.
Sit down, eat up, take a break.
For soon the sun with beat and bake
The hope from within thee.
There is a part deep down inside
Where fingers shant reach
And where deeds go to die,
There hides a small and shaking child
resting wearily.
Lead him out, treat him right
But never will the sun burn bright
To light hallowed halls beneath.
For as bad as it was, it was still a home.
Albeit, one with no heart or hearth made of stone,
Or soup, or bread, or things to own,
But home was still,
Home.
So soon those eyes will darken and harken
To life lived long past and attempts to part them
But it lives long inside our hearts
Against strong will to thwart them.
When we remember our homes
Our start.
____________________________________________

Carpe Exercism

________________________________________

A NICE YOG

I'm afraid
I'll lose you.
My absence
Is a direct decision
To abstain.
Intentional.
Scared
Of the consequences.
Scared
Of tomorrow.
Are you even there?
Were you ever actually here?
Will you stay and wait
For a return
Of this tired man
Wishing for a break?
My life, the casino.
I just can't seem to bet
More than the table minimum.
_______________________________________

Smashed

______________________________________

P.L. DUBBED IT

Fan of the hit and run
Narration.
A sort of morbid
"Choose your own adventure"
Storybook,
Complete
With its very own tool of disposal.
Self destruction
Leaving reader blurry eyed
And deaf
To true letters
Communing to sing
A truthful voice.
Shell shocked and timid,
Hiding amidst the wreckage.
All sounds
Of the siren's song.
______________________________________

It's wedding season.

____________________________________________________________________


IF I ONLY


If I only had one last kiss

It would be yours, it would be yours

There's a million ways I planned it

We never seemed to settle down for one

Convictions so strong, more than love songs

Issie Singer told me I found the one

If I only had one last kiss

It would be yours, it would be yours

There's a million ways they've said it

I can't seem to fit you into one

Soft light breaking, eastern facing

Bill, he said it that you shine like the sun

It's just you, just you

If I only had one last kiss

It would be yours, it would be yours

It's just you, just you, adding more words won't make it more true.

____________________________________________________________

C'mon fight me!

________________________________

PLAGUE WING

We're like Thaddius' polarized pets.
We share space
And people die.
Mental containment
Is our thin shield
Keeping our wars from indulging
In manslaughter.
Mass murders
Due to proximity.
The real problem is this iron curtain
Visiting death upon me
Bit by bit from sunrise to sunset,
Like a vacant soul sapping ghoul.
Catch twenty two,
Remove the veil
And I'm a dead man.
________________________________

It's in the background as we speak.

___________________________________

LIFE DOUBLE

The hours are countless.
Resting?
Relaxing?
Wasting?
We're not really friends.
This is hard to craft
Due to the overwhelming shame
Associated with time being wasted?
SP?
Irresponsibility has broadened
Its definition
And I, a border dweller,
Have been swallowed up
Finding new home in this Sarlac brother.
When will I resign to understanding?
I guess when I resign in general.
___________________________________

Fuck all y'all

____________________________________________

OLD LIFE

I spent those extra formative years
Filing away.
Placing self into bottle
Ignoring summons
By brainwashing
To oblivion.
My questions just got too big,
As my love professes,
And that is most accurate.
Especially considering
The too short leashed lives
That cauldron cooks.
Control: a hooded acolyte.
Justifying deed through "educational" avenues,
But you don't all fool me.
Most of you were a complete waste,
A complete fucking waste,
Of my time.
That is all.
____________________________________________

Response to Anonymous

Your post made me think a bit more after I initially responded and i feel the need to express thusly, ______________________________________


UNTITLED Time revolves around my head Endlessly careening Seemingly without control Or direction. Time stamped embarrassment Strikes when the big hand disapproves. Today I don't even control the minutes They stand Still Waiting for me to decide On anything. And I don't As calling card memories Leaving Morgul wounds Unhealing scars Kept open by a willingness inside Me to kite these demons To allow chase The hope of being great Great enough to never have to admit the truth About myself And my calling cards. Rest. ___________________________________________________

Shang-ri-la

Thanks to whoever posted on my last couple of entries..... Sometimes this project gets lonely, feels like my wife and I are the only readers......haha.  So thanks for interacting I think it's great and thanks doubly for posting an awesome response.  So whoever you are, "You rock."
____________________________

RAIN BABIES

Typhoon brother
Sweeps the landscape
Clean
And makes room
For entropy's progeny.
My estimated sixty
Plus or minus
Is an ill prepared test taker
In consideration of
This millennia old storm.
Eyes alert to coming wind.
Head inside,
Change is a'comin'
___________________________

Screaming infant

______________________________________

ROUTINE HAZING

Night terrors
Typical of this routine,
The feeling of having nothing
To offer
Strikes the nerve
Like dentist's exploration
Of clearly defined cavity
"Just to confirm",
Inflicting a bleeding reminder
A receiving of your own sad calling card,
One you hadn't realized
Went to print.
______________________________________

Self Absorbed

_________________________________

ROOMATES

I got a problem
With having a problem
With you being me.
Never ideal, couldn't fit the mold,
Just couldn't go
With the one who came before.
I stand for those
You obviously have forgotten,
Those you ignore and bring shame to.
We are those
Who hold no right
To you
Or anything about you.
We are the made up story
Of a boy
Named victim.
We are a figment
Of your imagination,
Well maybe you've just made it
Sound worse than it really is.
Look around yourself,
You'll do anything
To not know
If we're right
Or wrong.
__________________________________

Adventureland

____________________________________

FINE DINING

Dining table duel
I eat, I drink
With this ego, this very fragile ego.
Eyes locked and watery
Stretched to effectively communicate
The importance
Of the sensitive playmaker.
Iron curtain scowl
Hidden behind social prowess
And the know-how
To escape any question
So Houdini drags it out.
Like cancer
That never completely overtakes,
Suffocates,
A dominant force,
An unavoidable presence.
Still,
This is where the treasure lies,
Within this belfry.
An excursion
Of obnoxious proportions.
____________________________________

Mutanus The Devourer

_______________________________________

THAT'LL DO

Boredom dons its jester's crown
And pixies play
At pixie games.
Filled is a mind a gape
With confusing euphoria.
This leave of concrete leads me
To build a home
Of gingerbread
By this gilded highway.
Looks like a nice place
To watch life
Slip away.
________________________________________

Harumph

_____________________________________

CYANED

My destiny is unclear
A deserter it seems at times
A mutinous crew
And I "Captain Planningham"
"Destiny" may not exist
Unless you believe
You are destined for greatness
In which case you will more than likely be
Destined to feel abused
And lied to about your importance.
_____________________________________

Ordinarily difficult

__________________________________

GEMINI

It's been too long,
I've been too silent.
I give you your genius
And you shove me in return,
Forced into hiding
By the story I wrote for you;
A story with another purpose.
I'm no silent partner,
Today is the wholesale buyout,
So fuck your fear of me.
Relax into this,
The reality of you.
Your plans were fodder
Now risen
To fuel my flame.
__________________________________

Video tape

_________________________________

THE DEAF LISTEN BETTER

You are like the deaf,
Just not really.
Actually, a deaf person
Would put more effort
Into listening;
If that makes any sense.
Macroscopic, microscopic, telescopic.
Whatever.
You've got them all covered.
You're here , but you're not here.
Mouth miming movements
Arms flagging down expressions
Agreements made and plans slated
But erased by some invisible magnet.
I guess you stood too close.
_________________________________

Confusion Ensues

_________________________________

DOUBLE GAH

I'm Wasted,
Wasting, Waster,
Wastoid.
Out of the luck
That was borrowed
And into the shit
That got me here to begin with.
Walk backwards.
Slow.
Don't engage with your eyes.
It will eat you up.
You know exactly what it wants,
Side profile slide
And GTFO
________________________________

Still don't know me.

___________________________________

OUT OF INK

I won't pen your ignorance,
As it should be left
From my books.
A history without comment
Or strange, imposed sanction
On my body
Of work.
Satiety won't find you
As I will never be you
And you will never satisfy
Yourself.
This poem is a contradiction.
___________________________________

Heard it all before.

______________________________________

YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME

It's just the same,
Different than before
But still running
That line.
Onlooker's gasp,
Frightened by what is left
Unfelt and untouched
Their desire is only
To achieve what is not burdensome.
Hide and seek love style,
Out of short sightedness
Leaves garden gate
Swinging, hinged
Out of control.
So this handsfree attempt will go on
And crash land
Leaving me badly
And you relieved.
______________________________________

Sullen Eyes

_____________________________________

THE MOLE PEOPLE

I'm O.K. with it
But unsure
About the others.
The little noisies,
Ones who worry
On and on
In their rabbit holes
Never alive
Just trying to convince others
To forfeit
Due to their own fright
And state.
It's because they worry
About themselves too
You know?
Consistent.
______________________________________