I'm gonna do it.

_____________________________

RAIN MAKER

Bound and tired,
My love constrained
Afraid of what will be-come
Of what I know
And welcome
As not enough.
Somehow this
Beautiful man misses truth
By margins proportional
To that of Skilling and Fastow.
My books are cooked.
Media meltdowns have delivered
This shell.
The end
Isn't come.
Light as a dehydrated sponge
Waiting for rain.
_____________________________

Those trees are talking..... and throwing apples.

____________________________________________

BRAINS AIN'T ALL THEY CRAKED UP TO BE

Mocking jig
Scarecrow stare and smile
extend effortlessly
From features forgotten.
Propped and posed
Waiting for things to fall
Into place.
When will the world start
Spinning Around
Me?
Crystal collectible
Still art
Surrogate mothers
My heart
Lending brittle qualities
To scare boldness
And remove esteem.
Straw stuffed
Feet heavy with chaff.
_____________________________________________

He's heating up.

________________________________________________

LUKE

There is a tapestry
Adorned with scenes of love
And adventure.
Men taking hold of dreams and desires.
Battling beast and barbarian alike.
Upon pike and spit are heads
Of those who oppose the strong,
But these men are simply woven fiber.
A symbol.
An ideal.
Stories are never complete,
Romanticized analogies forgetting pain
And loss
Without which process and growth would cease to exist.
Familiar visage on adventurer and pike
Alike.
_______________________________________________

Fish are friends.

__________________________

CRUSH-ED

I have tried
To stop
This tailspin
Consumes me
Targeting fear
And baseless obligation
Turning me
On a death roll rally.
When I die
I will become a fish
Swimming
Away.
__________________________

Golden mist.

__________________________________________

AMERICANA CLASSIC

I have dreamed of Americana
Simplicity.
Knowing the land
Out side my front door.
Sunset close
On picture perfect
Pictures of perfect.
Nothing holds me
And everything holds me
To it.
What does it mean?
To be a man?
Here?
Curriculum counterweighted
To guarantee compliance
With Americana dialect.
Have it all for nothing,
That being what I never earned in the first place:
MY freedom.
My war was never fought
And now hopes and dreams sleep
Amidst tall grass
And star gaze through july nights
Tucked in by sunset wheat.
Hearts explore this mighty expanse
Hoping to find a remedy to not knowing
Struggle.
Paper purchase and power falls
Short when the grass turns to snakes
And stars fall
Like perfectly, planned projectiles.
These lands are now
The lands of unrealized potential.
No.
Scratch that.
Rather,
The lands of the unrealized.
__________________________________________

I like cheese. Sometimes.

_______________________________________

FIGURING OUT FIGURING IS DUMB

I'm trying hard
Not
To ruin this.
Again.
It's never what it seems.
Only occasionally what I need.
Elusive lover,
Essential to happiness,
Purpose,
Sanity.
The harder I try
The more painful it becomes.
Now, perhaps
For the first time,
I will deny myself
Indulgence.
Indulgence of the fraudulent claims
Urged by insecurities' icy hand.
Go.
Move.
Words made hollow
As here and now
Are their successors.
________________________________________

Please pass the cheese.

___________________________________________

DON'T SAY I NEVA TOLD YA'

T and A
Won't save the day
When good looks sag
And fade away.
You couldn't trade me
Any lady
Who's not worth her weight in gold,
I'm not sold
Unless a clear mind sits stern upon her throne.
No bones can be thrown
To a dude who's an ass fiend
Ten years then come tears
From pancakes instead of ass cheeks.
Now age will ravage all in this world
But looks are only half the story for my baby girl.
She's got what it takes to keep me around
She's all woman
Worth her weight
In love
Pound for pound.
__________________________________________

Double Trouble

__________________________________

BIRD BRAIN

Little kids will climb
Trees
Without assumption
Of self
Competency.
Vertical scramble
Until arm's reach
Meets arm's end.
The bough breaks
Or sudden slip of caring
Lowers eyesight
To constructed reality.
Why does consciousness make things
More frightening
Sometimes?
Over thinking
Has two sides.
My polyamorous heart
Loves to love
Both sides of that story.
Lately I've only had eyes
For one.
________________________________

DJ Crazyass

_________________________

NORMAL, LIKE ME

Overcoming daily desire
To forget
Placed and loved choice
And replace
with easy
Cheeseburger delights
Sap my back
But strengthens a core
Somewhere.
I'm told its mine
By other parts of me
That I'm told are mine
As well.
These are the vegetables and fibers
Of my life
My heart.
My soul.
This is how I stay
Regular.
_________________________________

Love makes me tired

___________________________

OREGON TRAIL

Option is
My strong river.
A neighbor
Of flowing force
Farce
Ready to pull
Me under and deliver
To sensed
Unseen destinations.
Confused
At fear's true root
I stall
Waiting for clarity
It won't come
Accidentally hoping
For what would kill me,
A river run dry.
Attempted forge
Glides thoughtless.
_____________________________

Plastic Parts

___________________________________

PINOCCHIO

My wooden legs still dance
Numbly,
Dumbly.
Sensitive steps
Are a thing of the past,
A monument
To an earnest walk
In the wrong direction.
Funny how self surgery is like dreaming.
What the fuck?
Instant gratification comes
Due to a leaky memory
And Dramatized pain.
Leave me the world
And I'll eat and drink.
I'll swim and run,
Climb and sing,
Love and make love.
I will forget
About prosthetics
And their long lost origins.
___________________________________

Octo beard.

________________________________

RESUME

Communal hope
For a new rep
To emerge.
Hope is just hope.
Seabreeze dreams
Of purple mountains
Majesty, a sign of greatness
To come,
All are simply
In dreams.
An attempt to feel
OK with current
Station and progress.
Treading water
Never allows for outward thought,
Soon waves overtake me
And drowning resumes
Sending me back
To Davey Jones
conscription.
______________________________________

Disney movies taught me everything I needed to know.....

_________________________________

WHERE'S MY LADY?

Consumed by belief
Of importance of self
Preservation.
One takes the metaphorical
Eye for an
I.
Unsettling disconnect settles
On this nervous war party,
Quick to use any
Informant.
Legs speed a weight
Past point of possible return
Decision
Is printed without acknowledgement
Of base level operations
Blind to plant manager.
Said blind dog
Steers a bus
Full of puppies
Swerving
At every noisy neighborhood
Tramp.
___________________________________

Original Wraith-sta

_____________________________________

IT WAS MY CHOICE

I've known the owner of lies
And seen winged demons
Hang in dark solitude
Amongst his great room's ballasts.
Black pine, shadowed
By cooking fire
And forges
Fashioned for ulterior motives
Disguised by friendly eyes.
Time passes slowly in trial's transit
Soon resting upon cliff's edge
Regardless of time
And force.
Absence of grey
For this wraith.
 ______________________________________

Damn it feels good to be.......

____________________________

DON'T CHANGE

Honor is hard to pen without action
When men have backed and tracked
For passion.
A fleeting moment
Leaving no one alone but
Cutting hearts out
Like they've got no place in their own home.
A disgusting display
Of man's lust and array
Of weapons handmade
For death's hallowed day.
Skeletons of past
On Dia Del Muerte.
The day made for men
Busy digging their own graves
Hurried by piss poor promises
Of fate laden fame.
Soon dawn comes
And leaves loved ones
Wishing slower days had won
Out over building son's trust fund.
The raising of this empire
Left isolation's spire higher
Closed out by cloud
And how could now
This love pronounced expire?
On top I thought
I schemed a plot
Retreated twice as tired.
From here on out
This rule will count,
Fall out of touch?
You're fired.
_______________________________________

My Turf.

______________________________________

NOT ACTUALLY RELATED

Many brothers have held
A heart so.
Transient eyes
Glazed by sponge
Feelings of love
Never felt
From younger days.
Paternal awareness
You could say.
Freedom rings loudly
And barley blood
Makes memories
Temper to current status
Quo.
Keeping the peace is easy
At home.
__________________________________

All Gone

__________________________

TRY AS YOU MAY

Cried many a day
And night
Away.
Wolf!
As blank stare
Into pitch black
Star painted beyond.
With option to fix,
The solution
Is never taken.
Why.     ?
Fear is governing
Everything
Now,
Fear of losing.
What.    ?
I have nothing
Even God could take.
__________________________

Creativity

_________________________

DRAMA

The helpless man
Worries
Those who preside
As brother.
Time runs
A race
Speeding through turns
Pushing this enfeebled specimen
To body's break.
Abandonment lends a phantom
Hand
To those who spin
The story
Of victim.
So busy
Being a professional
victim.
Irony is funny
When involvement feels tertiary.
This isn't funny anymore.
____________________________

The birds and the bees.

______________________________

MIND BLANK

Many,
Are these poisons
By which this man beleaguers
Himself.
A throng of originally, incidental
Innocent, incidents;
Altered by a dark mind,
Scribed into tome
Made true
By simply existing.
Logic has lost reason
By attempting to logically reason
Through epic stacks
Born by painless freedoms
Won by past generations.
Collective experience:
The bee,
Life is it's stinger.
______________________________

Eat mah cake too!!!!

__________________________

OLD ROADS

Cold
Like an ex's kiss,
Shocking.
Excitingly bad.
Is circumstance dictating
My life again?
Loneliness and boredom
Possess terrifying synergy.
A small silent auction
Held for aspiration's last breath.
Will I be the highest bidder?
Sticker shock by my desire
Overwhelming.
If desire and dream were but one.
___________________________

Beautiful woman.

_____________________________

SHE MOVES ME

Lustful lady
Ocean.
You lap upon my beach
Endlessly.
Warm currents, clinging
Forcing surrender
To absolute power.
Warming body softly
By breeze and bath.
Resourceful seductress,
Confined
And deep.
Deep so as to be lost
In depths
Unknown to another.
Breaking bosom
Draws close
These eager lovers
Until all that is known
Is gone.
________________________________

The wall.

________________________________

I'M TALKING TO IT

Stone cold flurry.
Fitful, fearful, jerking.
Darkness envelops eyes
As Alice falls deeper
Out of touch
With this fabric
Upon which nomadic life pitched
Temporary tents of trust
And willingness.
Move on.....
Move on, you of the thirteen,
Wandering for forty centuries
Is more accurate.
Maybe consciousness is purgatory
A tense limbo of waiting
For revelation of life and time,
Still waiting,
Like students at semester's end.
I'm sorry
Apologies don't mean anything
To you anymore,
Innovation of the impossible
Doesn't much seem worth it.
__________________________________

Noir

______________________________

CHOKING ON MY SUPPOSE TO

Spoken jabs,
Or maybe stabs
At reconciliation with self.
Dialogue of make up
Speeches, one after another
Spoken to everyone but me.
Explanation literal
And awkwardly transparent.
Confusion between confession
And convincing.
Stories wrap necrotic images
Of perfect self
Under inches of gauze,
Never ending self surgery
Of guilt and shame.
Fear of self and opinion
Daddy always knew
Exactly what to say.
The truth and a lie
Don't meet
Halfway
In the middle.
____________________________

Self help..... lol

________________________________

COMMONS FOUND

When we were kids I hated you.
Your presence
Was worse than annoying.
Abrasive.
It was all I could do to resist
Tempting throttle.
Ignorance reigned supreme
Until action
Of my own
Pushed sodden boy
Out of his convenient life;
I was 24.
You were shaped,
Withheld social circumstance
And experience
In fear
Of pain and corruption of a simple soul.
Mother's plans paved the foundation
Of your nine circles, heated and molten.
Resistance ran course
Giving way to a man
Grown by heartbreak.
Two men,
Grown by heartbreak,
Raised with a country between them
Finally coming to terms
With dispelled perceptions
Of faded ideas.
Familial wholeness, Individualism,
Self help.
The non-existent screamed with rage.
I need you.
You are window
To the less explored parts.
The darker side of my desire to forget.
Two men,
Finally sharing common ground.
__________________________________

Seasonal depression disorder.

___________________________

SPRUNG

I can smell your alignment.
Crystal lattice
In striking formation.
I can feel you
With my nose,
Lungs expanding
Enlarging to behold
This ancient exchange.
Mind a flutter
Hope based
On your families'
Rudiments.
Like the smell of dirt.
I think I could taste
You.
If I tried.
Elusive bite.
___________________________

WB Cometh... NO WAY!

_______________________________

RAINBOW BRIGHT

Rainbow beauty,
Concentric circles stacked ablaze
For storage.
Aligned for case and cover
Sheathed to fit.
Precious cargo courier,
One of many,
A family of data.
Multiple facets of media meld
For quiet conformation
Sequence of specific statement and type.
I am brother.
Adopted in reversal,
Longing to roam
Straight faced
With worry and courage in heart.
Duty above all else.
Perhaps I'm just an admirer.
Perhaps I'm just an admirer of your work.
_______________________________________

R.I.P.

_________________________________________________

FREEDOM OF SPEECH NEVER STOOD A CHANCE

Two paths diverge from one lie.
One left, one right,
They switch to fool the eyes.
Leaving honest men forgettin'
The honest life worth livin'
Sentencing them to life,
With no parole,
Addled head still spinnin'.

GET THE FUCK UP!
Your out of time!
You took too long!
Your problem, not mine!
Close that mouth!
Don't Pout!
Stop now!
There's no way out!
Cause honesty
Don't guarantee
Liberty or justice
You must have
Confused us
With someone
you trusted.
Again, your fault, not mine.
It's on you
From two paths
One lie.

At the time
Clear mind
Slipped by and failed you.
Heart broken and alert
No one left to bail you.
Life ain't fair
Thats the truth for you,
Fight back
Or get used
To getting fucked
By their view.
________________________________

FPS

___________________________________

YOU'RE OK.  NOW.

I am these borderlands.

Obsolete and barren,

Vacant.

Lands of lawless suspicion.

Free lands 

Of kings and bandits alike.

Equalizer of title and station

One who by proximity embraces change.

No rule governs

The wind.

None tell the dunes where to face.

Unmatched elemental wilderness creates

New option

For the proletariat.

I will take back my power.

___________________________________

It hasn't gone yet.

__________________________________

SIZE MATTERS

Beached and baked,
Sun bleached.
Born of sediment.
Sedimentary amalgamation
Couldn't withstand
Force applied
So series of singular
Identical happenstance
Lead to me.
Compression and heat
Made my father,
Erosion was my surrogate.
Manhood's map eroded,
What I learned misleading.
For now
Hope is a pebble.
________________________________

Lies

Can't do an installment of legends tonight.... other stuff is taking up my mind grapes.

__________________________________

KIT KAT

Velvet dark,
Hot air's press
Warm and slowly
Suffocated, sedation.
Half asleep.
Restless sleep.
Eyes closed
Mind wandering.
Every morning met
By sore back
And cramped feet
From past night's squandered.
Soul searching
Is back breaking.
Unfortunately,
All I need is a another break.
Stepwise mentality
Scares fuzzy awareness
Wringing hands in fear
Of what may
Be chosen.
______________________________